Political Jesus

It doesn’t take much these days to feel a crushing burden of confusion as one looks at the political landscape. One need only look at the limited choices we have in our “representative” government, designed to have the will and opinions of all people voiced publicly. Yet, the more I try to study the issues and candidates, the more I’m baffled at what chipping away the varnish reveals: this is all pre-fabricated spin. I can’t just blindly choose to vote for one party or the other when I know that more than half the time, they’re both wrong. Is it really right to vote for the lesser of two evils (doesn’t that philosophy admit to voting for evil)?

Reading the Bible through the lense of politics reveals a dangerous problem: the Bible is very political. Consider these Old Testament occurrences:

• God orchestrated a political revolution with millions of workers walking out of government jobs and becoming immigrants (bailing out of their lifelong contracts)
• God had a group of millions of people march towards cities and declare a literal war on other humans to establish borders
• God warned the Jews to take care of the aliens in their borders (illegal immigration commentary, anyone?)
• God authorized humans being removed from their communities for sins of certain degrees
• God was against the election of one person to serve as a monarch

What about the New Testament. This one is worse.

• Mary’s song about her Son said things like “He put down those in the upper seats and lifted up those below,” and “he filled the hungry with good things and the rich he sent away empty” 
• There were four main political parties on the scene when Jesus emerged. Jesus chose sides with none of them.
• A woman faced capital punishment for being caught cheating on her husband sexually with another. Jesus opted not to bring about the punishment.
• A wealthy man asked Jesus what to do if he’s followed all of God’s commandments. Jesus told him to sell everything he has (his oxen, his house, his stock, his Hummer, his mansion, his condo) and give it to the poor.
• Some of Jesus’ opponents wanted to ask Jesus about paying taxes. He told them to give the government what it asks, but also give Him what He asks.
• The “Gospel” was a term the Roman government used to designate its success in fixing the world. Sort of like saying Rome was bring “Change.” The disciples hijacked this term and used it for themselves. Country first? How about “Kingdom First.”
• Jesus said its easier for a camel to walk through the eye of a needle than for a person of great wealth to experience His Kingdom. It makes me wonder which Kingdom Wall Street lives in.
• Roman emperors were designated as “Saviors.” Proclaiming that a “Savior is born unto us” was like saying, “A new, better President has been born.”
• Caesar was known for riding a steed into town for a parade with people waving. Jesus did a similar action (with a smaller crowd) and on a humble donkey.
• King Jesus was assassinated for his admission that He believed he was the King of the Jews. This was a politically charged statement, like telling Fidel Castro that the real leader of Cuba is a plumber from a small village.
• Jesus was known to have crossed the border a few times to go talk to the wrong people and help them out. I wonder what he’d do for Mexicans these days.

An Open Letter to Baby Boomers

Dear Baby Boomers (click here to find out what a Baby Boomer is),

I write to you while sitting in a chair at my local public library. Having had a conversation recently with my parents, aunts, and uncles, I am compelled to notify you that I would appreciate it if you would join me in analyzing your generation’s collective experiment and the ramifications of your choices for Generation X, Millennials, and other future generations.

Your generation began to emerge into prominence during Vietnam and following JFK’s tragic death and became rather vocal about your displeasure for American society. Piggybacking off the Beatnik movement, you challenged cultural assumptions en route to transforming culture into your own mold. With the bluster of change that could only be classified as a cultural revival, you challenged everything and brought America to its knees at your very presence thanks to your numbers and the noise your voices created.

I can’t speak well for you, as I wasn’t born after World War II, but I think I understand what you were after. Yes, the 1950s were really, well, plain. Everyone had the same car, same haircut, and same Levitt & Sons house that all screamed “conformity.” To spice up life, rock the boat, and try new things, you discovered new means to live. LSD became your new sugar cereal. Rock & Roll was amazing. Being more open about sex became your norm.

After Woodstock, you grew up. It was time to move on to bigger things: conquering a nation. Your older cousins, the Silent Generation, let you trample them miserably on your way to becoming CEOs, storming politics, packing the courts, and industrializing the nation. Its amazing how just 20 years or so of your generation has made such an impact on culture.

However, my purpose in writing this letter is to ask you a question that may haunt you, but I feel it is valid. Can you honestly say that you will be leaving America better than you found it?

Today, my generation is beginning to enter your workforce to take over your newly created cubicles as you retire, though we are moving into a different workplace. At one time, a corporation existed to improve people’s lives and communities. Today, by definition in college, a corporation exists to “raise shareholder wealth.” Thank you very much for your sweat shops that imprison children, the corporate landfills you created, and thousands of acres of forests you removed to build bigger buildings. We couldn’t have have made it without that.

Thank you very much for accepting the notions of philosophers who would have better been found in other places in time. “If it feels good, do it” has really helped decrease the number of people in prisons. “God is dead” really raised the bar for hope. “Sex, drugs, and rock & roll” has improved family lives for everyone.

Thank you for selling us to day cares so you could work. We appreciate the bigger houses, cars, and 200 TV channels we got for the trade, but really, your time would have been a lot more. You chose to work to “make ends meet” that you never had to create, so we decided that since you didn’t want us, we’d have to raise ourselves. Its okay – without you guiding us, we found ways to increase teen pregnancy, STDs, high school dropout rates, and juveneille crime without you. As we move out of your homes, we hope your 61″ HDTVs, boats, and Hummers were worth the price. They cost us a lot.

Thank you for deciding how schools should train us for your “real world.” Learning to think for ourselves by taking tests, learning how to type instead of handwrite, training us that spellcheck is better than phonics, and removing the concept of failure from our lives is wonderful. Not only can we not function in society, but we refuse to believe that we can’t function. At least we have our self-esteem. Go ahead and fire us in your workplaces – you never taught us commitment, anyways.

Thank you for all the prosperity you have brought to America by working your tails off. We really appreciate you earning your social security, though we’re not sure you made it into a system we can leave for you. Fortunately, you’ve all been saving all the pay from your overtime hours to make up the difference when we are forced to shut it down because you turned it into a bankrupt system.

Thank you for leaving us with a world where we are respected by other nations. The Europeans can’t wait to work with us in diplomacy, the Islamic World will forgive us really quickly for killing all their civilians, and the Africans didn’t want help with AIDS, anyways. They realize that spending $15,000 for toilets and other necessities you signed into law are more important.

As we take over your jobs, we look forward to finding all the problems you’ve left for us and transforming our world to what you were supposed to make it. Don’t worry – all the experts say we’ll probably do more for society than even our grandparents. You just sit back and enjoy the reality TV you created in your excessive homes while we’ll take care of everything.

Who are the parents now?

Sincerely,
Millennials